Identity Shifts

Therapy for Women Returning to Themselves

By the time most women arrive for a session, they have already made the statement I don’t feel like myself. What they cannot always identify is which self they mean.

Identity rarely remains fixed over the course of our lives. It is shaped and reshaped by relationships, work, marriage, divorce, accomplishments, knowledge, caregiving, loss, aging, and the gradual recognition that some of the roles that once defined us, no longer fit. For many women, years are spent being needed by other people. They become the caretaker, the organizer, the partner, the mother, the daughter, the professional. These roles can provide enormous meaning, but they can also become so consuming that a woman’s sense of self becomes intertwined with what she does for everyone else. When children leave home, careers change, and relationships evolve or come to an end, the transition can be emotionally disorienting. An identity that once felt solid may suddenly feel less certain, even when the change itself is welcome.

These shifts can also create an opportunity to reclaim parts of the self that have been neglected, postponed, or quietly set aside. A woman does not lose the person she was at twenty when she becomes forty, sixty, or eighty. Her earlier ambitions, strengths and longings remain part of her emotional tapestry. Sessions together can be especially helpful during these transitions because it creates a space to separate our inner identity from obligations to others and what we are told by others, about ourselves. The goal is to recognize which areas still feel authentic and build upon those in a tangible way.

A changing identity can feel unsettling because familiarity feels safer than possibility. But these transitions can also make room for a deeper sense of self, one that is less dependent on others or fulfilling an expected role, and more grounded in what feels meaningful, alive, and genuine.